The Line- a short story

The gentle New England breeze blew Marcella’s dark curls across her face, though she hardly noticed. Her eyes were busy memorizing every detail of the bright June sun rising over the smooth Atlantic horizon. She contemplated her options for the day, thinking of ways to keep her mind distracted from the heartache of the date. As her fingers gently circled the rim of her NYU coffee mug, the sound of her neighbor’s balcony door sliding open snapped her thoughts back to the current moment.

“Good morning!” Her neighbor’s cheerful greeting brought a smile to Marcella’s face. 

She turned so her gaze met his brilliant blue eyes briefly before her eyes wandered across the scene in front of her. She couldn’t help but notice how the sunlight kissed his tan skin. Marcella’s mind started racing. Why did he have to come out here shirtless? That ridiculous seahorse tattoo on his left pec probably had some wild story behind it; but she had never worked up the nerve to ask about it over the last six months. 

“Are you doing anything fun this weekend?” Marcella asked aloud, hoping he would tell her that he was spoiling his wife or heading out of town for the next day or so. Maintaining a safe distance was crucial to delicate balance of their friendship.

“Eh, not much,” he responded as he rested most of his body weight on his forearms, leaning over the balcony to stare at the waves crashing onto the shore. “Taylor is out of town for a bachelorette party, so I have to stick close to home for Buddy.”

Damn it, Buddy the Dog. You are going to be the death of me, Marcella scolded the innocent doggo in her mind. 

Eddie stood up suddenly and walked over to the divider between the two balconies. He pretended to look over her shoulder to see what she had pulled up on the laptop, which was balancing carefully on her lap. 

“It’s not even on?!” he teased. “What are you doing with your morning if you aren’t working?”

“I just haven’t gotten there yet,” her response sounded a lot flatter than she meant for it to sound.

“Whoa!” Eddie stepped back to take a better look at Marcella and her demeanor. “What’s going on with you?”

Before she realized what was happening, her anxious thoughts about the date poured out of her. She told him about the way her father stormed into her bedroom sixteen years ago that night to tell her that  her mother and sister had been killed in a car accident. She explained how she knew he told her at exactly 7:30pm because he wouldn’t make eye contact with her, so she stared at the clock on her bedside table. The heartbreak of that night and the icy relationship between her and her father afterwards haunted her always, but especially on June 21 of each passing year. She didn’t wait for Eddie to respond. There was so much more weighing on her. 

Marcella shared with Eddie about how her writing had been suffering and she just kept stumbling over the same projects at the newspaper, afraid her editor was going to notice soon and put her on some kind of probation. Work, her friendships, her yoga class-- everything seemed so hard lately and she wasn’t sure when or why she had lost her groove, but she missed it. Marcella barely noticed how his blond eyebrows crinkled with the sympathetic look of concern on his face before the thought that was loudest in her mind came flying out of her mouth. Horrified, she heard herself ask, “And what exactly is it that we are doing?”

Taking a step back, Eddie rubbed his left hand over his shaved head. Marcella could tell he was considering her question. The sunlight hit his white gold wedding band and glinted in her eyes, as a reminder that there was an entire other person in this very crowded, complicated situation. 

“I think,” he said carefully, “that we flirt across a very dangerous line.” 

Marcella sighed. She already knew that. The flirting had been going on for months--  stolen glances in the hall while they fumbled with their own sets of keys, late night text exchanges, phone calls at really unusual times to share a quick joke, pizza and beer nights when his wife was out of town for business. Their friendship had started out innocently enough, two neighbors who both went out running on a similar schedule. They would often bump into each other out front of the apartment building when someone was coming or going for their daily run. It started out with a quick chat about work or weekend plans, nothing too deep. 

Then one night, Eddie forgot his key and was locked out of his apartment. Needing somewhere to hang out until Taylor got home, he knocked on Marcella’s door. She had had a rough day at work and was three shots deep into a new bottle of tequila. They took turns with the shots and laughed over a couple episodes of old television reruns. There was an almost-kiss, but it fizzled as quickly as it had started because Marcella pulled back. Since that night, the energy between the neighbors was definitely different; hotter. Before that night, Marcella knew she was attracted to Eddie; but afterwards, he became a thought-consuming addiction. 

They started going for runs together and more than once, Marcella noticed that Eddie would fall back. She could feel his eyes on her; it made her face burn hot, but it also made her heart skip a beat. All of a sudden, she needed help retrieving quite a few things from the top shelf of her storage unit, even though she was the exact same height as him. Watching his muscles flex under his full-sleeve tattoo as he reached for whatever box she ‘needed’ gave her enough of a fix that she could go home and take care of the itch that persisted without actually crossing any lines.

“That was the wrong answer, wasn’t it,” Eddie’s smooth voice brought Marcella back to reality. She could feel his eyes searching her face for some kind of indication about how she was feeling. She wouldn’t give him anything though. Marcella needed to maintain the appearance of control of the situation since he really held all the cards. He continued, “We are obviously attracted to each other and we have so much in common. There are so many times a day that I reach for my phone to text you because something made me think of you. There are entire hours of my day when you are the only thing on my mind--” His voice trailed off and he cleared his throat. 

Marcella turned to look him in the eyes. She knew what he was going to say next and was bracing herself for it. Unfortunately, Eddie was her safety net in life lately, which was part of what complicated things further. 

“But, I am married,” he said. “And yes, Taylor and I fight. And yes, I don’t always like being married. At the end of the day though, it’s for better or for worse. I can look, and trust me, I do. It can’t go further than that though.” Eddie’s gaze broke from Marcella’s and he looked over to the waves crashing on the coastline, steadily.

“Of course!” Marcella’s voice sounded about three octaves too high. “We’ve taken things too far already. I wanted to make sure you knew that, too.”

Her words didn’t match her heart, but she knew it didn’t really matter. She felt hot tears welling up behind her eyes. Wanting to survive this conversation with some kind of dignity in tact, she told Eddie that she had a few things to take care of, but she would text him later. As she gathered up her laptop and mug, she bolted through the sliding door and slammed it behind her a little harder than she had intended. She dumped her things on the kitchen table and kicked off the flip flops she had been wearing as she headed to her bedroom.

Like an overdramatic teenage girl, Marcella belly-flopped onto her neatly made bed, burying her face in all of her silky throw pillows. She wanted to cry, but some kind of invisible barrier kept the tears from flowing. This was a common problem for her, and today it was unbearable. The pressure felt so heavy and all she wanted to do was let the tears go so she could move on, but they wouldn’t come. So Marcella laid there and let her thoughts consume her, distracting her from productivity and keeping her from any kind of resolution. 

After what felt like hours of nothingness and everything at the same time, Marcella decided it was time to get up and do something with her day. She grabbed her running shoes from the closet and a clean pair of socks from the top drawer of her dresser. As she threw her messy curls up into a ponytail, she sat down at her kitchen table to put on her socks and shoes. The kitchen clock caught her eye; it was already 1:14 in the afternoon. She didn’t want to be alone when 7:30 rolled around tonight, but after the morning’s big talk, she didn’t really want to be around people either. Luckily, she had a little more than six hours to figure out what to do with herself.

As she headed out the door for her run, she opted to head into town instead of heading for her normal shoreline route. There was no way she wanted to run the risk of bumping into Eddie today. Her feet hit the pavement in a repetitive rhythm that brought a small comfort to her big emotions. She felt calmer with every step she ran. Heading past the House of the Seven Gables, she giggled to herself at the scene of people in their witch costumes. This town is so strange, she thought to herself. She could all but hear Eddie if he had been there. He would say something like, “Goofballs, it is only June. Keep your costumes for the Fall.” He definitely did not find Salem as charming as Marcella did, but he had grown up here and she was a New York transplant. 

Once in town, Marcella filled her afternoon with some of her favorite things. She stopped for an iced tea at Red’s and went to the farmer’s market to pick up some fresh veggies for a salad for dinner. As she slowly made her way back home, she stopped to visit a fellow writer from the newspaper. They chatted about the mild beginning of summer and other uncomplicated pleasantries. This was exactly the kind of afternoon she needed, something simple. 

Walking back home with her bag from the market and a book she borrowed from her coworker, Marcella saw the sky filling with black storm clouds. Thunder rumbled in the distance, so she picked up the pace a bit. She wasn’t fast enough though and she got caught in the rain. The water fell from the sky and started pounding on her skin. It felt so refreshing as it washed over her, soaking through her clothes in an instant. For the first time in months, she started to cry. The tears poured out of her. It was like each raindrop egged her on, urging her to let go of pieces of the heartache she had been carrying around for months. By the time she made it to her door, she had no more tears to cry. Marcella felt like a new person. Refreshed and ready for the rest of her evening, she turned the key in her lock and went inside. 

Feeling like a warm shower was needed, she cleaned up her groceries and then headed to the bathroom for a shower. She took her time and let the warmth of the shower soften her skin until she was basically a prune. As the steam lifted up and away, it took what was left of her worries with it. What had started out as such a tough day had turned around so nicely and she felt lighter, more peaceful.

After brushing out her hair and putting on some yoga pants and her favorite tank top, she set back to the kitchen to make her salad. However, she only got about half way through chopping up the lettuce before realizing that eating was the last thing she wanted to do. She packed up her vegetables and put them in the refrigerator before opening the freezer door. 

7:30 was quickly approaching and she would indeed be alone after all. Marcella pulled the bottle of tequila from the night Eddie locked himself out, from the freezer. She took a glass from the cupboard over the sink and filled it with ice. As she poured the tequila over the ice, Marcella realized she had no idea what to do next. A creature of habit, she decided to stick with her favorite old television reruns. 

As she laughed at a wacky old lady’s latest antics on the show, she heard a knock on the door. Marcella glanced out the balcony door and saw the rain was still coming down pretty heavily. The clock on her DVD player flipped the minute, it was 7:30 on the nose. Not sure who could possibly be out and about on a night like this, she looked through the peephole and was surprised. Marcella unlocked the door and stood face-to-face with Eddie. 

He didn’t say a word, but both of his hands went to her face and cradled it like it was the most important thing he’d ever held. His fingers pressed into her skin and his bright eyes shone with flecks of grey dancing around in them. Then, he did what he should have done this morning. He brought his lips to hers and kissed her deeply. Every inside joke, every stolen glance, every word of encouragement they ever shared was in that kiss. Instead of pulling back like she had before, Marcella leaned in and kissed him too.

He broke away from her for a moment and his eyes searched hers. “There are entire hours of every day where you are the only thing I think about,” he repeated himself from earlier. “Maybe I’ve been on the wrong side of the line all along.”