Conversations with my therapist

One year ago this week, I had my first session with Mr. Therapist. He was the fifth one I tried to work with during a time when therapists were in short supply because the whole freaking world was falling apart and people were panicking. The other four therapists were fine-- but something was missing for me in their approach and our interactions. I was pretty much convinced that therapy just wasn't for me and that there was no saving this train wreck.

In fact, I was so fed up with the whole process, I had already vowed in the week and a half leading up to our first session that if Mr. Therapist didn't impress me in our first session, I was not only going to cancel any subsequent appointments, but I was also going to stop looking for a therapist. It may sound like I was being childish, but I was so exhausted by the failure to find someone to help me, that it was messing with my already fragile mental health. I felt like there was something inside me that was so broken, even professionals couldn't help me. I was lost.

As I was driving home from work on the day of my first session, a friend and I were chatting on the phone. She asked me how I was feeling about the upcoming appointment. I said, "Eh, he's a he. And I'm pretty sure he's younger than us. I'm not really sure why I thought this was going to work. Maybe I should just cancel." She promptly put me in my place and told me to just give it a try, that one session wasn't going to make things much better or worse for me.

Seeing that we are now 52 weeks into this thing, you can probably surmise that he had whatever was missing from those previous therapuetic interactions. His unique blend of therapuetic styles and his way of explaining things really seems to work for my brain. Thank goodness! Who I was before we worked together would never have dreamed of being the person I am now. He's helped me in ways that no one ever has, and for that, I am forever grateful. He's helped me learn to manage anxiety, set firmer boundaries, advocate for myself, and we've started working through some past trauma. Even more than that, though, he helped me help others-- which has always been one of my truest passions.

If you follow me on social media, you've most likely seen my #conversationswithmytherapist posts. Sometimes they are just funny little quips from an otherwise heavy session, other times they are a bit meatier with tips and tricks for managing mental health. However, they've all been written with the intention of breaking the stigma around mental health and to help those who come across the posts.

I'm not an influencer, nor do I have thousands of followers, so these numbers may feel a little low for the social media world's standards, but on a human level, I am so thrilled with how many people Mr. Therapist and I helped this year.

Conversations with my Therapist, by the numbers:

- 41  social media posts with the hashtag #conversationswithmytherapist
- 26 people have reached out and thanked me for normalizing mental health with these posts
- 18 people have reached out for Mr. Therapist's contact info specifically so they can work with him
- 18 texts, PM/DMs, comments asking for more information about a specific therapuetic practice referenced in the posts
- 17 people have reached out to me privately and asked for help finding a therapist
- 11 people have thanked me for my posts because they need therapy and can't afford it so the little tidbits are helpful
- 9 additional people (beyond the ones who asked for his info or help finding a therapist) have told me they started therapy and thanked me for posting about therapy because it helped them get started
- 6 people have asked if Mr. Therapist and I would do a podcast together
- 1 person asked if Mr. Therapist and I are going to write a book together

- (and my personal favorite) 1 friend took a few random details I shared, did her own research, found Mr. Therapist online and recommended him to one of her friends who she thought would benefit from his work (I didn't hear about this until much later but I loved that she listened so carefully when I talked that she was able to accomplish this and was able to do so while respecting boundaries that she thought were in place)

Life is a team sport; and in the last year, our team has been strengthened by vulnerability, communication, and community. I'm a firm believer that it is through these three things that we can find resolution for most of the world's problems. Thank you for letting me share with you what I've learned about myself, mental health, and how to heal. If you are one of the people in the numbers listed above, please know I'm so glad you reached out and I'm cheering you on always! If you've never reached out but have related to something shared, please know you are not alone and I'm hopeful that you are finding what you need on your own journey. We are all in this together, and I'm hopeful that one day we will all feel loved, supported, and free to be our true, authentic selves.

Much love and light always,
Kate

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ORIGINALLY POSTED AUGUST 2021.

This post was originally from my old site, Keeping it Kate. Because of other projects I am working on, I wanted it saved as I move into the next chapter. ‘Conversations with my therapist’ is an ongoing passion project to normalize mental health care and to provide mental health wellness tips and tricks for those who are not able to access their own therapist.